Introduction, Page 2

What is the Purpose of This Book?

There are other books about how to adopt, by social workers. There are also books by adoptive parents about how their families came about and grew. And there are many biographies and autobiographies of famous and not-so-famous adoptees.

This book is different: it is a book about how to adopt, written by an experienced adopter, from the adopter’s point of view, telling it like it is, warts and all. I have no vested interest in adoption (except as a very satisfied consumer). I can air some of those fears and feelings all prospective adopters have but are afraid to talk about in case they scupper their chances, because I have no position in the adoption establishment, no job to lose, no superiors to cultivate; no sponsor, patron or publisher.

I’m not going to pretend that all adoption agencies are as good as each other, or that all social workers are caring and professionally competent, because it just ain’t so. Some social workers are marvellous; some are awful; all of them are badly overworked and underpaid. Most agencies are efficient and well managed; some are grossly incompetent and should be shut down. Most adoptions are successful: some run as smooth as glass, others have more than their fair share of ups and downs, and some end in disaster. But in general, adoption in the UK is remarkably well run and trouble free for prospective adopters, although our care system for children does leave a great deal to be desired, and the services available for families who have adopted and need help are also very undeveloped.

Our two great boasts in this country are:

We have taken the financial considerations pretty well out of the picture, both in terms of requirements for adopters and in terms of removing the profit motive for professionals, and
More than most countries, Britain makes decisions about adoption from the point of view of the child’s best interests rather than those of the prospective adopters or the birth parents.

But there is nevertheless a lot of room for improvement:

There was an ill-advised bias in social work in the 1980s and ‘90s in favour of keeping children with their birth families, even where those families were grossly and irretrievably incompetent and dysfunctional, instead of getting the children out, keeping them safe, and giving them new and better families. This is still the case, although matters are improving a little. By the time the social workers finally realize the desperateness of the situation, and are able to act, many of these children are permanently damaged and virtually impossible to place. Earlier and more decisive intervention could save many hundreds of children.
The assessment process takes too long in some cases, not always because the process itself is at fault or too scrupulous, but more often because social services departments are without exception under-funded and understaffed, and most are badly organized and supervised to boot. There is too much turnover in social work staff, leading to a woeful lack of continuity in assessment and case loads. Part of this is caused by staff leaving due to stress and poor pay, but part is also due to the continual organizational turmoil in most departments, with teams constantly being reorganized and reconstituted according to the latest theoretical wheeze or government whim: specialist teams, multi-functional teams, area teams, etc. Clients need continuity.
There are many children waiting too long in care who can and should be placed in adoptive homes. The reasons are not always to do with social worker incompetence; often the problem is outside their control, in outdated laws and regulations and organizational chaos, lack of case workers, etc.
Many children are still being shunted around from foster home to foster home, with placements being terminated at short notice and for no reason other than administrative convenience or the whim of the foster families (this is not a gratuitous swipe at foster carers). Again, children need consistency of care more than almost anything.
The understandable and reasonable desire of social workers to place children with families of the same ethnicity became, and in some places still is, controlling adoption and fostering practice. A significant number of children who could be satisfactorily placed trans-racially are being kept in temporary care for too long while matching families are sought. Certainly for some children ethnicity should be a determining factor in matching, but not necessarily for all. And ethnicity is not the be-all and end-all of matching or happy families. This situation is definitely improving, but there is a way to go yet before it achieves a satisfactory balance between speed and finding the best available family.
On the other hand, there is still far too little effective work being done to recruit adopters and foster carers from ethnic minorities, to avoid the difficulties of trans-racial placement. There are not nearly enough social workers from ethnic minorities. And too little is being done to prepare adopters and foster carers for those trans-racial placements that do happen, or to support those placements down the line.
Likewise, the recruitment of adoptive parents for children with significant medical, emotional or behavioural problems falls well below the levels needed. I don’t know if there are enough potential parents out there for all these severely handicapped or damaged children, maybe there just aren’t enough people who have the special qualities they need; but I do know that agencies could do a lot more than they do to find, assess, train and support them. And they probably would do a lot more if they had the staff and money they need.
Social work professionals still have too little realization of the long-term effects of the damage done to children before placement. Consequently they too often blame the adopters for problems their children in fact developed as a direct consequence of their pre-adoption experiences. There is still not nearly enough constructive intervention available in good time to those adoptive families who find themselves in trouble, either in terms of counselling or respite care.

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