VIII. Who Can Adopt?

There are only three legal requirements to adopt a child in the UK:

The applicants must be at least 21 years old,
At least one of the applicants must be legally domiciled in the British Isles, and both applicants (if a couple) must have been habitually resident in the British Isles for at least a year before the date of filing an application to adopt (this mean filing the adoption application with the courts, not to making an approach to an agency for assessment — there is no residence requirement for that),
Having no criminal conviction against children (with a very few exceptions).

In addition, the child in question must never have been married, and must be under 18 when the court application is filed, although the actual adoption order can be made after the child turns 18. Once a child turns 19 an adoption order can no longer be made.

Everything else is up to the agency. Every agency has its own rules which can arbitrarily rule you in or out, or just make things more difficult for you; the agency down the street may not have that rule and welcome you with open arms. And agencies’ rules are different depending on the kind of child you may be interested in. The more special the child’s needs, the more flexible about non-essential matters the agency will probably be in order to recruit adopters for him. For example, if the agency has a 12-year-old mentally handicapped boy who has been sexually abused over a long period, and they find a family who can bring the right qualities to the placement, they are more likely to overlook some matters which might otherwise disqualify them. The agency is interested in the total picture, and should not home in on one or two details or areas where you don’t come top of the heap. So read the following sections with that in mind.

The following sections deal with the various aspects of people and their lifestyles that agencies are interested in when they assess potential adopters. It also includes some things agencies are not very interested in, but which adopters often worry about, to set your mind at ease.

Your Age and Health

The agency will be very interested in your age. Many agencies have arbitrary age limits, set mostly to reduce their workload. Too many people wait too long before trying to adopt, either because they’ve postponed having a family to pursue their careers or to save up money, or because they’ve tried the biological way unsuccessfully for too long. By the time they get round to trying to adopt they find they are too old to be considered for a baby. Most agencies have an automatic, rigid cut-off age of 35 to 40 for a normal baby placement. If you are older than that you are very unlikely to be considered. However, for older children or those with special needs the limits are more flexible. The agency will also consider the age difference between you and an older child. There could well be problems if a person or couple in their 20s wanted to adopt a child of 15, but this rarely arises.

The same holds true for your health. If you are chronically ill, very obese, a heavy smoker or drinker, your chances of adopting are reduced. Some agencies may not consider you at all. And if you are deaf, blind, wheel-chair bound, etc., you may also have real problems. The reason behind these restrictions is simple: agencies want adopters who are likely to be alive, fit and active throughout the childhood of any boy or girl they place with them. If a baby is being placed, they want adopters who have a very good chance of living healthy and active lives for at least 20 years. They also want adopters who will be able to care for the child, so someone who is ill most of the time and has no partner who can help is not a good choice. If you have a chronic illness which is controlled by medication and which does not affect your ability to parent, you will still be able to be considered.

Whether these restrictions should apply to the blind and deaf, especially, is another matter; there are particularly good arguments for placing deaf children with deaf adopters. And there is no reason to think that blind parents cannot parent children: they are perfectly good parents to born-to children, after all. People in wheel-chairs make perfectly competent parents. You may have a hard time finding an agency, but a physical disability is no reason for not trying to adopt.

If your lifestyle is unhealthy: heavy smoking or drinking, poor nutrition, obesity, drug addiction, uncontrolled gambling, very dangerous hobbies, etc., you are well advised to make some radical changes before you try to adopt. Not only does a lifestyle like this measurably shorten your expected life span, but your activities affect your home environment — smoke, poor nutrition, domestic violence, poverty, etc. — which would be bad for children. If adopting is important enough to you, you will be willing to make that commitment to your child’s future.