VI. Alternatives to Adoption, Page 6
Relationships with Other Children in Your Family and Neighbourhood
If you have children in your extended family or neighbourhood: nieces and nephews, young cousins, etc., make an effort to become more involved with them.
You can baby-sit, provide play equipment in your garden, volunteer to take children for walks, to the playground, ferry them to music lessons, teach them skills you have, help with homework, walk them to school or look after them between school and when the parents come home from work, have them visit you on holiday ... The list is very long.
Especially if you are a single man, you will need to be careful that your actions and motives are not misinterpreted by parents or the children.
- Try to be sure that when you are with children there are parents or other adults with you or near by.
- Don’t develop a friendship with a child unless you are already friends with the parents.
- Always ask permission from the parents before contact with the child.
- Be careful about physical contact with children.
- Don’t make your home a meeting place.
- Don’t make your garden a honeypot unless it is well overlooked.
- Don’t try to convince a child to come with you if he shows any reluctance.
- Don’t have secrets with children.
- Don’t use the bathroom or change your clothes in their presence
- If you take a child to the toilet or help her change clothes never close the door, and do try to have a trusted adult with you.
- Never slap or smack a child or even shout.
These may seem very restrictive, but they are for your own protection, so that circumstances cannot arise where you could be accused of inappropriate behaviour. It is virtually impossible to effectively dispute accusations of child abuse. Even if the accusations are not proven they will inevitably and permanently ruin your chances of adopting.
Next: Chapter VII: Have You Got What it Takes?
© Roger Ridley Fenton
