XIV. Moving in With You: The Honeymoon, Page 4

Registering with the Doctor and Dentist

The law requires that any child being looked after by the local authority (which includes children who have been placed for adoption but where the adoption has not been finalised) has to have a medical examination either every six months (if aged under two) or every year (if older). The agency is responsible for seeing that this is carried out, either by your own doctor or by an agency doctor. This requirement lapses when the adoption is finalised.

You will want to register your new child with your doctor and dentist, and with any specialists he may need to see. They may want to meet you and him for a general chat, to get to know each other. If you have a baby you might want to have him examined by your own doctor, just for your own peace of mind. For any child you should seriously consider having a doctor immediately document anything which could indicate prior physical or sexual abuse, for your own protection. But I would recommend against dragging an older child around doctors and dentists in the early months unless really necessary, in case he thinks you are treating him like a piece of livestock or that you think there’s something wrong with him. This can dent a fragile self-confidence or make a trusting relationship with you more difficult to build.

After our boy came to live with us we noticed his speech and mental processes were distinctly abnormal. But after several trips to educational psychologists, speech therapists and paediatricians it became obvious that we had given him the impression that he was somehow unsatisfactory and needed changing. We stopped all the diagnostic trips immediately. We still don’t know what was wrong, but over the years he has improved considerably anyway.

You should be able to register your child with your doctor and dentist under his new name, even though this will not be official until the adoption is final, and although you will not have parental responsibility until after the adoption is final, the adoption agency will probably give you permission to authorise all but major medical and dental treatment. Be sure this is in writing, so you can show it to the hospital if they are awkward. If treatment does need consent and you give it, be sure to tell the agency the details at the first opportunity.

It has been known for a doctor to refuse to discuss a child’s medical condition with the new parents before the adoption is final, because they do not have parental responsibility. This is stupid, and potentially dangerous for the child, especially if she has any serious medical condition. If you run up against this problem contact your social worker immediately and insist that it be sorted out right away.

© Roger Ridley Fenton