XIII. Getting to Know Your New Child, Page 3
How Long Will the Introduction Period Last?
How long is a piece of string? This part of the adoption process can begin as quickly as the day following the panel’s decision to match you, or it may take several weeks to organise. Where possible, the social worker will have given you enough advance warning for you to get yourselves ready to roll immediately, unless there are other factors holding it up (most likely are illness, the absence of crucial adults and the need to prepare the child).
The process of getting to know your new child (and vice versa) can itself take anything from a couple of days (rare) to many months (also rare). But two months is not at all uncommon. It depends on many circumstances: the logistical problems, especially if you and the child live a long way apart or there are work commitments, the child’s ability to cope with such a major change, everyone’s need to reflect periodically on the progress, any physical preparations which might be needed in your home to receive the child, illness, a death in the family, holidays, the weather, etc. You need to expect this. Be patient. From this point on there are also more people actively involved in the placement than before, and a problem with any one of them can hold things up, rather like a house-buying chain, but it is pretty uncommon for anyone from this point on to deliberately delay things up unnecessarily, although it does happen. As a rule of thumb, the older the child, the more complex his past history and the more children are involved, the longer it takes.
There is also a tendency for introductions in general to get longer these days. The idea is to take things gradually. It used to be thought that it was better to make a clean break and a fresh start in adoption, as if it were somehow possible to forget everything that had gone before; it is now realised that this was usually traumatic for the child, and children need as much continuity in care as possible with a gradual transition from one family to another.
There will be a plan for the introduction period, but this is always flexible and the process can be telescoped or extended as necessary.
Three of our four placements had their introduction periods shortened significantly when it became obvious to everyone involved that there was no need to go the full distance.
Who is Involved in the Introduction Process?
As I mentioned above, there are more people involved now, which makes life more complicated.
- First, there are the stars of the show: you and your prospective child..
- The foster family is central to the process as well, because they have most of the knowledge you need and their co-operation is crucial.
- The birth parents are sometimes involved, too.
- There is a reporting officer, whose job is to be sure that any parental consent which is necessary is given freely and the parents understand what it means; he also witnesses the consent form. You will not be involved in this part of the proceedings.
- There are several social workers, too. The child and you may have different ones, possibly the foster family and birth family, too.
- The child also has a children’s guardian (former called a guardian ad litem), whose job is to safeguard the child’s interests and only the child’s interests during care and adoption proceedings in England and Wales. In Scotland there is a similar official called a curator ad litem. Reporting officers, children’s guardians and curators ad litem are in fact all usually social workers, wearing different hats for these functions.
- And there are other professionals who may be involved. The older the child and the more special her needs, the more professionals will be involved: teachers, doctors, psychologists, therapists, etc.
At various times during the introduction period you will need to have conferences with some or all of them.
© Roger Ridley Fenton
